- Be well rested, with a clear mind and body.
- Manage your expectations
Whether or not you do your own constellation, you will get a lot out of being a representative and sitting in the holding circle. Take all the time you need observing the practitioner’s style so that you are sure that you feel comfortable enough for them to facilitate your own constellation. For some people this may take one or two workshops before reaching this stage.
- If you do your own constellation, be prepared to hold it quietly within yourself afterwards. It is usually better not to discuss it with others afterward.
- Being a representative does not involve acting in any way. It is not playing a role but rather standing in a particular person’s position.
- As a representative you simply report the sensations feelings & impulses that spontaneously arise in you. It is a good idea to start with physical sensations.
- There is no right or wrong, just simply reporting your own experience.
- Resist the urge to invent happy endings . It is the facilitators’ job to work toward a resolution. The process is much more effective if representatives maintain their integrity.
- Preparing For your Own Constellation
Any question or concern that you bring to a constellation should be a serious matter for you. A constellation based on a trivial matter has little energy and is unlikely to be helpful.
- Stronger Questions Lead to Better Results.
Rather than saying “I want myself, my brothers and sisters to be more relaxed with each other,” you might say “I want to behave is such a way as it helps me and my brothers and sisters to be more relaxed with each other”. Phrased in this way the question allows you to take more ownership of the situation, which usually leads to the constellation being more beneficial.
- In Doing A Constellation, Reflect on Your Family Background. It is useful to know the basic facts about your family i.e. who had special fates i.e. dying young or having difficult chronic illnesses and to think about who belongs to your family system. This information can be useful if you decide to do a constellation. But don’t get frantic trying to find it all out. Often only part of this information is needed to do a constellation.
- Those we might overlook, who are still part of a family system include:
- Children, including aborted or stillborn children and those who have died early.
- Brothers & sisters, including stillborn children and those who have died early.
- The parents and their siblings, including stillborn children and those who have died early.
- The grandparents
- Sometimes one of the great-grandparents and, at times, ancestors even further back.
- Everybody – and this is most important – who made room to the advantage of the above members. This includes, in particular, former partners of parents or grandparents, as well as all those whose misfortune or death brought the family an advantage or gain.
- Victims of violence and murder by any members of the family.
- Sometimes people who have saved the life of a family member.
- Again remember to be well rested, with a clear mind and body.
(Re-printed with permission from Chris Walsh’s website: Constellation Flow)